I am a gay person who cannot leave this habit. When I was thirteen a man abused me by force. I was again abused by others and I left the country. Now I am in a foreign country. During the month of Ramadan I keep fasting and offer regular prayer. I see good dream. I see Madinah fly in the air. Please help me what can I do to be forgiven by God. I know I am a very bad person. How can I leave this habit? I really hate myself and want to kill myself. I am the only male child of my parents and if I commit suicide then my sisters and mother will suffer badly. They love me too much. Is there a way to get out? I am not basically a bad person.
Answer
First, you need to get hold of yourself and overcome your dejection and frustration.
Second, in the eyes of the Almighty, it is not the sin, but the attitude one adopts after it that matters.
Third, repeated repentance even if one commits a sin again and again must be sought for it is Satan’s special scheme to frustrate a person by inspiring in him the notion that how can the Almighty forgive a person if he keeps committing the same sin again and again.
Fourth, it would not be a bad idea to consult a good psychotherapist who might be of help to you.
Finally, please try to get up to pray the tahajjud prayer whenever you can and seek special help from the Almighty to give you the will power to overcome this inclination.
May God always protect you from Satan and his plots.
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